Many of us didn’t grow up in safety with love, in fact we grew up with trauma, but it really is possible to feel the joy and safety of a happy childhood: Right here, right now. It doesn’t just happen, we need to build it up by listening to the Inner Child and her/his fears and grief. As I wrote in my memoir, The River of Forgetting, I learned from my therapist how to be present consistently for my Child Within just as a good parent would for a real child.
This morning I felt overcome by responsibility and things I need to do, but I sat and asked the Little Girls in me what they needed. They told me quite plainly they need to be little and loved, so I simply sat there and held them and felt the love. My Inner Adult held them tenderly as they surrendered and let go of the need to be grown-up.
Our new happy Inner Children are
- safe, with an inner safety that is solid and dependable
- loved by our Inner Adults
- accepted just the way we are, with fears and quirks and all our feelings
- able to feel connection with other people
- open and spontaneous, able to move freely because of the safety
- playful and creative.
It’s been a tough few weeks for me with huge adult responsibilities. I promise my Inner Children to take time today to mess with paints and take a walk.
How do you reassure your Inner Child and keep her/him safe?
* Quote is attributed to Tom Robbins, Berke Breathed, Wayne Dyer, and many others!