Remember: A Poem on Recovering Innocence After Abuse


Remember how it began
you were everywhere
in the trees, the rocks,
running through like a golden thread
seeping like water
no form only soul
delighting in all being,
then in your incarnated being
fingers, toes, belly, spit.
Remember how it began
offspring of the world
infinite, unbounded, confident
in your connection.
Soon enough you learned boundaries
and how it was to be violated.
Schoolbooks, grades, family fights,
starched dresses, silence,
cowboys and Indians,
secrets, rape.
Half a century later
you unlearned, pulling
the barbed strands
from the living flesh
weeping oceans to sail
home on, in the wind of change
to the harbor of arms,
small again, in the lap of acceptance.
Huge waves of love, a tempest.
Quiet now, can you accept the miraculous
ordinariness of being just a part
of it all—branches, chickadees,
laundry on the line, clouds, sleeping cats.

I wrote this poem after about five years of therapy concerning my recovered memories of incest. It is included in my memoir, The River of Forgetting.


Interruption said...

I guess remembering is the way to healing...just very painful. Love your poem. Take care,


Jane Rowan said...

Thank you, Nico. A lot of remembering is painful, unfortunately. Here I'm remembering in my soul how it was before all that.