Every year as I move towards Christmas, it feels like an improvisation. In the back of my mind there is some ideal, stable (family) Christmas that is calm, loving, and exciting all at once. In that image the children are all loved and the parents know their limits. Everyone appreciates what is present instead of fussing about what is not there. People act loving, they don’t explode or drink too much or act mean.
In real life things change. I’ll spend the day with different friends’ families and then see my son a few days later. It will have its ups and downs.
My little girl inside still holds that image of the ideal Christmas that never happened, and I love her for that hope and belief. I wish that all inner children—with all their hopes and fears—may be cherished during this holiday. I hold you all in my heart, both in the intensity of family interactions and in the loneliness that so many of us experience (whether we are alone or with others).
We are all one family, with a special bond among those who were abused or neglected as children. Peace and love be to all of us.