Do you have multiple inner children?



I do, but it took them a while to appear. At first, when I was working with my therapist on issues from my childhood, she would ask, "How does your little girl feel about this?" I would get vague feelings of distress and maybe just a glimpse of a girl. It seemed like my inner child was always sad or scared.

After I paid attention to the sad little girl for some months, I met Good Girl. She was the one who always did what the parents wanted. She suppressed any memory of abuse and she was eager and cheerful, did well in school, and just acted painfully Good. She was frightened by my explorations of the abuse and wanted to scare me back to my not-knowing.

Slowly I found a Lost Girl and a Silent Girl, also, girls whose voices and emotions had been completely lost to me. They were mistrustful and it took a lot of patience to call them back and love them.

It seems these different inner children are unrecognized aspects of my young self, ways that I split off parts of myself because of the trauma. Finding them and loving them back into my life has been a joy was well as a lot of work.

Not everyone has multiple inner children. I'd be interested to hear from you about how it feels to you - you can write in Comments below.

3 comments:

Sapphire said...

Hi There,

I know I have two inner children. They appear to me in dreams. One is 2 years old and the other 4 years old. Both are boys ..... I'm not sure how that works as I am female.

I have been wondering for some time how to connect with them and love them back into harmony with myself.

Any Ideas?

Jane Rowan said...

I'm not surprised by your having boys inside--I have a very young boy in me, as well, so vulnerable.

I think it helps the most to have a therapist who likes to work with inner children--but I also wrote a little booklet at www.janerowan.com/childbooklet.html that talks about how to connect and heal. Articles on my website, as well. I wish you luck and healing.

Anonymous said...

After 40+ years, I finally uncovered an inner child for every single age from 3-yrs-old and on, even to age 40. I'm hazy on several of them, as they all made their identities known to me on the same night of major self-discovery and transformation. I'm trying to connect with each of them, but only 3 or 4 show up regularly. This has been quite a daunting, humbling, exhilerating, helpless, and divine experience. I feel both lost and guided, worthy and incapable, validated and uncertain. This is only the beginning of a long winding road to come, but at least I have traveling "partners". My inner children help ease the loneliness.