Among the kids who crowd inside me, the one I call Eager Girl has been making a lot of noise lately. She wants to go for it all, all the time, everything. She wants lots of stimulation, attention, and play. She’s a delightful spirit but she doesn’t know when to slow down.
I first met her in a dream about four years ago. I’m coming back from a backpacking trip, walking down to the trailhead. The little girl who is with me dashes ahead towards my red car. She wants me to throw her the keys so she can open the car, but I don’t want to throw them to her—it’s getting dark and I sure don’t want those keys to get lost in the leaves.
When my therapist heard the dream, she said, “I love her spirit. But the little girl isn’t supposed to drive the car.”
These last two months, I’ve been working on writing yet another difficult part of my memoir of healing from sexual abuse. Meanwhile I was working on a new booklet, "Caring for the Child Within" while also designing my website. Then Eager Girl got the idea for this blog. She wanted to start right away. I hugged her firmly and told her she’s not allowed to drive the car. I held off beginning this blog until I felt clearer on my purpose. Sometimes our Inner Children need loving restraints.